Barnes and Nobles, Where the S is Silent

I suppose that I knew I had an addiction.  They say the first stage is denial, a stage I remained in for about a six months before confronting my crisis.  One night, I finally admitted defeat and began seeking intervention.

It started out with just a page here, a book there, and progressed to the point of having an exorbitance of unopened books.  The defining moment came after spending a night out on the town.  Some people have their late night indulgences; Julia’s Empanadas on Connecticut Avenue is a popular one, finding a gem on eBay, another. I even knew of a man who purchased next-day plane tickets, only to wake up and realize he had missed the flight that he didn’t remember purchasing. But I digress.  On this evening, I returned home and found myself ordering books from Barnes and Noble.  Really? My late night hedonist tendency is buying books online.

With much work and restraint, I have cleansed myself of such a late-night folly.  As a consolation, I permit frequent visits to Barnes and Noble.  I have never been happier.  And who knew that trips to Barnes and Noble could produce such great encounters.

The first man I eavesdropped on was informing his friend that he recently became unemployed.  But his recent unemployment allowed him to spend his days at Barnes and Noble catching up on all the latest science fiction novels. If he’s lucky, I heard they are hiring skilled lightsaber-men in the Gelactic Republic.

And even better, I found a collectively rotund couple, pegged in their mid 50s, going through recipe books and toothily scribbling down the ones that appeared palatable.  At a time in my life where I feel my youthfulness fighting to escape from me, I am comforted to know that I haven’t resorted to this yet.

On another outing, I encountered a family of four, each sitting in a chair around a mahogany table, each reading a book.  This family outing quite remarkably resembled a family dinner, less the food and a bit more taciturn.  What a family adventure!

At this point, I am intimately familiar with the seasonal displays, similarities, and variations of each Barnes and Noble in DC Metro area.  If I eavesdrop on conversations at the Customer Service kiosk, I have found more times than not, that I could direct the patron to the appropriate section.  The only downside to having this wealth of knowledge as I see it, not that I’ve asked, is that none of these Barnes and Noble branches are hiring.