Be Mine

Saint Valentine; he is among the elite in American history. He is among the Final Four of demigods (along with Martin Luther King, Saint Patrick, and Columbus) to have a national holiday in his name. I’d even go as far as saying his idyll celebration of love among intimate companions has been pretty instrumental in shaping American foreign policy over the past few decades. I would also conjecture that he was a relatively homely man, since more people associate his day with a naked baby with a crossbow than with himself. But that is beside the point.

Now, for all the love Valentine exhumes, the holiday has an ironically polarizing effect, drawing people into a game of tug-of-war, with those on Team Hate sporting macabre clothing in an attempt to draw Team Love off of cloud nine. On the scale from one to love, I usually fall somewhere around indifference. Historically speaking, I am more often than not (alright, always) single on Valentine’s Day. This doesn’t bother me because my independent spirit can’t be restrained by the shackles of a relationship (or so I rationalize). And the optimist in me see’s Valentine’s Day as an annual self-evaluation. What went wrong this past year? What improvements can be made for the upcoming year? (For example, I’ve come to terms with my flawed logic when I hypothesized that braces would up my game).

Well, this year, I decided to throw a little oregano in my Ragu. I received an email advertising for a Vanetine’s one time cooking class in Sunny’s Kitchen. For $55, the class offered to impress your someone special with the following 3-course menu: Caprese (tomato basil with fresh mozzarella) salad, wild mushroom risotto, roasted balsamic asparagus, Thai marinated flank steak, and chocolate covered strawberries. Class will also include tips for setting the mood to make Valentine’s Day 2010 unforgettable! My friend Molly and I signed up, figuring that we would at least get a decent meal out of the experience.

Well, one week prior to Sunny’s cooking class, I receive a call from an unknown number. Whenever I receive a call on my cell phone from an unknown number my heart sinks slightly. My mind immediately wanders, wondering if I incorrectly filed my taxes the previous spring, or, with frequency that even surprises me, I think maybe it’s someone calling to tell me it’s the Truman Show (which would really bring some of the pieces of my puzzle together). Hello? It’s Sunny from “In Sunny’s Kitchen”…[sign of relief]…informing me that we are one individual shy of being able to host the Valentine cooking class. How many is one short? Three. In order to host the cooking class a total of four individuals needed to sign up for the class. Molly and I aside, only one other individual in the entire Washington Metropolitan area found this cornucopia of food intriguing? Where is the love? Apparently not in DC (another point I use to rationalize my single status). Sunny said he would call me in a few days to give me the final verdict.

If the omens hold any truth, it looks like another year of celibacy. A few days later, Sunny called me back. With the Snowmageddon that pummeled the region, Sunny was able to save face. This culinary class was cancelled due to inclement weather, not lack of interest. Looks like not even Sunny could keep the sun out this Valentine’s Day.