Santa's Bible

About six weeks ago, I moved into the Meridian with two other guys, Kyle and Bobby.  Our apartment is everything a recent college graduate could ask for.  It leaves nostalgia at the door and exudes all the vibes of college; loud music, friends to frolic with any night of the week, the smell of wine and cheap perfume. It is also the birthplace of the story that has become known as the Santa Bible.

Week 1: This story commenced the day Kyle and I move in.  We each spend most of the day unloading boxes and arranging furniture in our respective rooms, trying to get them habitable.  Going to grab a glass of water, I notice the Santa Biblia sitting on the counter.  I was surprised to find the Santa Biblia because I 1) didn’t know Kyle spoke Spanish and 2) didn’t know that Kyle was incredibly religious.  Within our circle of friends, Kyle has always been known as Liberal Kyle.  I’m not saying that liberals can’t be religious, it’s just that I had never heard him speak of his faith before.

Week 2: I’m hanging out at our apartment with a friend. Since the Santa Biblia is still on prominent display, she immediately noticed and inquired.  So, of course, I told her that the Bible belonged to Kyle.

Week 3-4:  As is often true of the good word, it  travels fast.   Almost as fast as Chris Brown’s fall from grace.  Over the next few weeks, Kyle found himself answering a flurry of religious questions. In preparation for Lent, our friend Remy asked Kyle what he recommends giving up.  Although unsolicited, I eagerly suggested something simple, like giving up cleaning the dishes. Nobody cared what I thought, because word of mouth had effectively canonized Kyle.

Week 5: Come to find out, Kyle found the Santa Biblia in one of our kitchen drawers on move in day.  The onslaught of religious questions never queued Kyle, and, conversely, his often blasphemous answers, while perplexing, didn’t reveal the truth of the Santa Bible.  Having laughed at our collective presumption, we continue to introduce him to others as the most religious and devout of the group.

As for the Santa Biblia, it has become the cornerstone of our apartment. We prominently displayed it at our housewarming.  More recently, we had friends over and accidentally left a bag of ice on the counter.  The poor Santa Biblia had to suffer through the great deluge twice, and spent the next week drying out.  Our Santa Biblia has become an icon.  Who knew when we moved into the Meridian that we would get such a cool amenity! And while that is the end of the Santa Bible story, I really think our time with the Santa Biblia is just beginning.