Do We Dewey? Yes.

Dewey – v. laying in the sand, listening to the ocean waves, enjoying the convivial atmosphere, supping on everything, and encountering an eclectic group of beach goers.

After the past few weeks of weather that appeared to beckon for Noah to start constructing a new ark, and thinking the sun might have entered retirement, I was charmed to see the clouds part.  Some of my friends from high school and I paraded to the beach for a relaxing weekend.

We spent most of the weekend Deweying, overindulging in the food department.  On Saturday alone, we dined at Sharky’s Grill, Thrasher’s Fries, Candy Kitchen, the Purple Parrot Bar and Grill, Rita’s Water Ice, The Starboard, and Grottos Pizza.

In order to offset the caloric intake, we made it a priority to get some exercise.  To start off, we played an intense game of corn hole.  The teams: Brian and Sara versus Peter and Zotter. The outcome: Peter and Zotter won 21 – 16.  The breakdown: Brian scored 15 points, Sara scored 1.

In our next athletic competition, we worked up a sweat playing a round of putt-putt at Shell We Golf.  The discount: My friend Peter got to play for free because it was his birthday.  My friend Julie also got to play for free because the store clerk thought she was permanently handicapped since she was deceptively sporting the forearm crutch as opposed to the traditional underarm crutch. The results: Sara ended up in last place, even behind Julie, who played the entire course while using a flamingo-like stance and putting one-handed. The analysis: I should have chosen Julie to be my teammate at corn hole.

Overshare of the weekend: While enjoying the sun and the sand, a bedraggled and unkempt lady approached and showed us the cool sea shell she found.  Over the course of the next few minutes she proceeded to whinge about the cards she was dealt, while simultaneously pining for companionship.  I'm sorry, you definitely sunk that battleship. Unprovoked, she revealed that she recently went through a sticky divorce, in which she only asked for child support, not part of her husband’s pension.  In addition to the child support, she received disability benefits from her former employment accident.  Which is why she talks languidly, because she is constantly on tranquilizers; not narcotics, because she has had a history of addiction to those in the past.  She was also pro-choice until her first abortion, but the emotion distress swayed her to be pro-life.  The one thing she didn’t share was her name.  Anonymity is probably better anyway.  Next, she impinged on my personal space, and with a dollop of sunscreen in hand, muttering some phrase about her concern for me getting burned, proceeded to run sunscreen all over my chest. No. Oh, wait. Yes.