I was recently invited to a friend’s house for dinner. After they graciously prepared the meal, I thought it would be polite of me to offer to wash the dishes. Unbeknownst to me, one of the glasses in the sink was cracked and I ended up with a sizable incision. Months later, my finger still has a permanent battle wound.
More recently, as I was leaving my friends’ apartment, they asked if I would be so kind as to take out their trash. Sure, not a problem right? Wrong. When I went to throw the trash down the chute, the bag got jammed and so I gave it a helping nudge. What my friends failed to mention was that there was a broken glass bottle in the trashbag. I figured this out when it punctured one of my fingers.
Having now gone 0-2 in my battle with glass, I’ve done some root cause analysis and determined that it all stems from my deep sense of benevolence. So to combat such future lacerations and abrasions, I’m no longer lending an injured hand. Brian, will you please pass me the butter? No. Brian, I think it’s your turn to take out the recycling. No. I’m practicing altruistic abstinence.
Lesson learned: When life throws you lemons, make sure not to wash them or throw them in the trash.
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