The Middle East Part 3: What Goes Around Came Around

The Hagia Sophia was pretty much the extent of my elementary education of the Byzantine Empire; it’s grand dome literally shaping the course of architecture. So it was important for me to may tribute to this church-converted-mosque-converted-museum. Valerie and I (read Valerie) took to rapid-fire upon entering the UNESCO World Heritage site. We eventually made our way over to the Weeping Column, a column in the inner narthex that has a concavity said to provide good fortune to anyone who rubs it and feels moisture.

So, of course, Val and I stood in line with the gathering of tourists waiting for their photo op and stroke of luck. Directly in front of us was a couple with two teenage boys, overextending their time at the Weeping Column – perhaps hoping that the longer they were in contact with the column, the greater the odds of feeling a dab of water.

I thought nothing of the family until five minutes later when I noticed the one of the teens hunched over in the corner, his stomach revolting and spewing it’s content across the sacred foot-grounds of the Hagia Sophia! I was immediately insulted to think that here was this boy defaming such an architectural triumph, and took it as a personal assault as Val and I proceeded to soak our hands in sanitizer.

I swiftly maneuvered to the nearest staffer, and despite the communication barriers, made audible gagging noises while simultaneously using hand gestures and posture to demonstrate what had just gone down. Despite what I thought was a universal charade for boy yakking in corner of Hagia Sophia, the puzzled staff member left and returned with an English speaking staffer.

For the remainder of the trip, I proceeded to share this occurrence, partly out of offense, partly out of humor, with everyone. I suppose karma had its way of going around and coming around, since right before Val and I boarded our 14 hour return flight to the land of the free, we both came down with a pleasant case of food poisoning, and now recognize the value of the barf bag. It was definitely a highlight, or low light, of the trip, depending from which direction one is looking at the light. Look who got the last yak.