Dixieland Delight

The time finally came when my roommate Hunter and his beautiful fiancé Emily tied the knot. While I was incredibly happy for the two of them, I was less than happy about the prospects of losing the roommate (and his superior culinary skills). I was secretly hoping Emily would decide to move into the sunroom-converted-to-Hunter’s-room instead of losing both of them to the state of Tennessee. Apparently my persuasive argument wasn’t as bulletproof as La Roux.

Alas, the beautiful union did give me the chance to explore a part of the Dixieland I had never seen; Memphis. My overall impression of Memphis was that it met my general checklist of requirements for places I could live, to include outstanding barbeque, Beale Street (Memphis’ own Bourbon Street), and a religious edifice at every street corner.

I should have learned from the last wedding I attended not to wait until the week of the wedding to purchase a wedding gift. But, I was fooled yet again into waiting until the wedding week to gift hunt. As the famous saying goes, or so I remember Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me…you can’t get fooled again. Wise but inaccurate. Trying to maximize utility, and feeling a bit overwhelmed about wedding shopping, I outsourced the gift selection process to my friend Remy, whom I know would shop for wedding gifts as a career if someone offered her the job.

She informed me that the only gift in my price range was a $32 Williams-Sonoma Goldtouch Nonstick Meatloaf Pan (which might be able to convincingly double as a banana bread pan). The likely reason for this being available at all was that it was on backorder and would not be available until one week after the wedding. Done.

In addition to the meatloaf pan, Kyle and I got the newlyweds a second gift.

Background: There are a school of angst-filled Mer-maids on our hall that have a skull and cross bones welcome (or not so welcome) mat. Whenever Emily passed this doormat, she made a point to crinkle her nose and stomp on it to demonstrate her disapproval. I too, hold a grudge against the mat, and have been known to take it captive on multiple occasions. My philosophy: If you act like a pirate, be prepared to play like a pirate; a little looting never hurt anyone. Kyle seemingly disagreed, and would within the hour, find my pilferage and return the mat to its proper post.

The Gift: Kyle did some investigative research and found an exact replica of the doormat, except for substitute the skull and crossbones with a smiling yellow face. So Kyle made the purchase, and one unassuming night, we visited the pirates down the hall to make the swap. This is what I would call a win-win situation. Emily will now have a sign to stomp on at her new home, and I now have a friendly face to greet me every day after work. :-{#}