Coup d'etat

I enjoy my sports. I actively follow the local Washington teams, regularly read reviews of my alma matter Virginia (often at my own risk when it comes to football and basketball), waste weeks of my life consuming every broadcasted Olympic game, and have consistently performed mediocre at best in my fantasy football league. But like many Americans, I have not paid much attention outside of World Cup play.

I distinctly recall a time in my life, that perhaps I would prefer to forget, where I spent an entire afternoon penning posters for my family’s front row seats during the Women’s World Cup Quarterfinal match USA vs Germany. Mia Hamm vs. Birgit Prinz at Landover Field on July 1, 1999. After arriving 30 minutes late to the match due to the abhorrent Beltway traffic, the USA Women’s team was down 1-0. Also, the USA Women’s team was the only team to score a goal in the game…someone scored a goal in their own net… (this uncanny parallel to pee wee soccer should have been an early warning sign that perhaps I was following the wrong sport).

Regardless, no amount of sports fandom could have prepared me for the epic match of the season. Barcelona vs. Real Madrid. Apparently everyone was planning on watching the match. Brian, will you be watching the match tonight? At this time, still unaware that the match we were referring to was the Barcelona vs. Real Madrid match and not my University’s ACC-Big Ten Matchup, I was forced to show my hand. What match? Blaspheme. What match? Only the match that everyone in the entire world will be watching. While I would like to believe you, I can’t accept your hyperbole.

So instead of watching the contest, I decided the time would be better spent reconnecting with my pastime. Instead, I sat on my bed reading K. A. Applegate’s series The Animorphs, the saga of teenagers given the power to morph into animals in order to fight the alien Yeerks (nerd-alert) on my Barnes and Noble Nook. I was basically begging to be ostracized at the dinner table the following day. Everyone would be talking about the football match I wasn’t watching, and nobody (nobody in the entire world) would be talking about Animorphs.

What actually happened: In a truly world-class performance, so I’ve been told, David Villa led Barcelona to a 5-0 romp, rolling through Real Madrid.

What I thought happened: A coup d'etat. With the riotous and boisterous atmosphere, I really thought the government had been overthrown. Either that or the Yeerks had taken over.