Quadrilatero d’Oro

While travelling with my former colleague Kyle, we stopped in Milan for two nights. I didn’t have high expectations for this fashion capital. Few people we met before travelling to Milan spoke highly of it (even fewer when we arrived).

But I found Milan to be utterly fascinating. As the fashion capital of the world, the sidewalks are first used as runways, and second, for pedestrian mobility. Every week is Fashion week in Milan. I can say this with 95% confidence, since I stayed there for two nights. Also, I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.

Suspiciously, I know nothing about fashion. That is an understatement. I hate shopping, I find malls abysmally frightening, and oh, did I mention that I despise shopping. Once, out of FOS (fear of shopping) I tried to purchase discount clothing through eBay. It could have gone better.

To take it a step further, one of the biggest challenges at my consulting job was my shirt-tie coordination. I’m permanently scarred from one particular memory of taking my last remaining starched shirt down the Mer-hall to get a female opinion. With me, I brought my dress shirt and the three tie-finalists. When I presented my selection to my female Mer-friends, it was as if I had just finished serenading them with Songify’s rendition of Double Rainbow. They were literally rolling on the floor laughing. Who ROTFLs? I thought it was only a cyber expression! Point noted: Matching, not one of my strengths.

So combine my fashion inscience with the fact that I was sporting a worn out pair of athletic shorts from American Eagle (isn’t worn out sort of hipster?) with a ragged t-shirt, donning my Jansport backpack from middle school (is that considered vintage yet? Is vintage trendy?), and I was attracting many eyes. Kyle and I sauntered around Quadrilatero d’Oro, home to top Italian designers such as Versace and Dolce & Gabbana. Our general rule: If we recognized the name, we went into the shop. I received death stares (threats, anthrax, etc.) at every store we visited. Judging this book by its cover, it was clear that my goodwill attire placed me far below the good fortune of being able to purchase $500 Ferragamo cuff links. Just a glance at the price tag and I was Ferra-gone-o.