I have come to learn that one of the common occurrences of living in an apartment complex is the continued receipt of prior tenants’ mail. I’m not sure who is at fault here; the former residents who forget to forward their mail to a new address or the postal service for failing to forward mail to the correct address. What I am sure of is that, consequently, I have had some uncomfortable elevator encounters and certainly smug gazes from fellow neighbors.
Never has this been as true as earlier this week when we received an American Girl Doll catalog for our spurious roommate, Sarah. Desperately trying to conceal the catalog with the Bank of America and Wachovia statements (the first time I didn’t experience enviro-guilt about having not switched to paperless), I ineffectually jammed the Close Door button as the elevator filled with residents.
Once I was out of the elevator, safely locked in our man-cave of an apartment, and certain that my damaged manhood could not be further enfeebled, I decided to breeze through Sarah’s catalog. Well, nothing shouts economic recession like Gwen Thompson, the new American Girl Doll…who is apparently a victim of the current economy and happens to be homeless. Gwen can be yours for the mere price of $95…ironic perhaps?
My interest clearly piqued, I navigated to the digital world and perused a few reviews. Internet user cupcakelover writes Gwen is very pretty but I am disappointed because her sandal straps break very easily. No shit, cupcakelover. She’s homeless. Your shoes would be tattered and torn if you were homeless too. Oh well, I guess that means you’ll just have to buy the $12 Sporty Sneakers.
I only hope that Sarah was still able to find out about Gwen. Unless the reason she is no longer living in my apartment is because she lost her job and couldn’t afford to pay the rent, in which case, Gwen might hit a little too close to home.
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