Oh Canada

Walking the streets of Ghana as a white American I sometimes feel as though I'm in a ring with bulls charging from all directions, but life as a matador can be exhausting. In the process of befriending an obroni, one of the most practiced strategies is to inquire about the orboni’s origin. Sometimes I offer the straight answer, Washington, DC; other times, I decide to spice it up and pose as a Canadian.

Since Canada is in such close proximity to the United States, I consider this as stretching the truth category vice lying. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that I was part Canadian; I have on multiple times been compared to the Canadians. For example, I often state sentences in the form of a question. Adult braces are cool, eh?. I also have an affinity for ice sports, from hockey to broomball. So I wouldn’t be surprised to one day find out that I am a product of the nascent Canadian baby trafficking business, smuggled across the border at birth.

But actually, confusion regarding my origin on the North American continent doesn’t stop with Canada. One time I was asked by my new friend Sally if I was Mexican, which was appropriate for her to ask because at the moment of inquiry, we had been friends for a total of sixty seconds. How was I supposed to reply to an invasive question? No, but I do have an addiction to Chipotle burritos? I’m not sure why, but I find that my façade as a Canadian is much more convincing than as a Mexican.

I have another secret weapon I can pull out when doubt arises among my Ghanaian catechizers. You aren’t Canadian they say. Would a non-Canadian know the Canadian anthem? Oh Canada, our home and native land…Deal sealed. Sometime during my childhood, I was forced to learn the Canadian National Anthem. Why, I can’t recall, but I’m sure it was for something important like National Maple Syrup Day. I have even surprised myself with my ability to put this nugget of knowledge to use. Like during the recent Vancouver Olympics…anytime I watched the Olympic games, I would sing Oh Canada. I was a crowd pleaser, (euphemism implying that I was ostracized and outcasted). Life as a Canadian can be difficult. Maybe that’s why I was trafficked across the border, eh?