Jessica

In my few months in Accra, I have observed some common Ghanaian company naming themes. I’ve determined that small businesses follow a proven formula that try to capitalize on one of three strategies:

1. Pander to the middle. Don’t try to oversell yourself. For example, Average Spot is an anything-but-unique spot where you can find Average Restaurant and Average Car Wash Bay. If it’s average quality you’re looking for, that’s us. I find their value proposition rather compelling.

2. Appeal to religion. Classic examples include Our Daily Bread Bakery and The Lord is Our Shepherd General Store. The consumer is either compelled to purchase (as is the case with Our Daily Bread for fear that purchasing from a competing bakery could result in one’s last supper) or repelled from purchase (I can’t help but think of the next line of Psalms 23:1…there is nothing I shall want from this store).

But my overall favorite is through door number three.

3. Assign femininity. Sometimes I see the connection. For example, the hair salon down the road is named Miss Etroo’s Hair Salon, I’m assuming after the salon owner. Others are less clear. For example, the high quality peanuts I purchase from the MaxMart are branded Becky Queen. Who made the decision that Becky should be royalty? Is this the justification for charging a premium price? The brand that causes constipation, I mean consternation, is Jessica. Who possibly thought that Jessica would make a good brand name for toilet paper? Give a man some privacy.

I’m contemplating opening a consultancy with the sole purpose of helping small businesses develop meaningful business names. To maximize customer interest, I’m thinking of naming my consultancy Ann Average Lord.